What Happens On Saturdays
by TheSixthApprentice
Summary: "Goodbye everyone." He began with a blank expression. He brought out his arms from the portals with leather suitcases in each hand. "I'll remember you all in therapy." It's Saturday and the Organization is as crazy as usual and Roxas and Axel discover some things they wished they didn't. WARNING: Completely random. Read at your own risk.


**Beware: This story is completely crazy and messed up. You have been warned.**

**Sorry for any mistakes if there are any, it was kind of rushed and I tried to find all the errors.**

**Discalimer: I own nothing of Kingdom Hearts or any of the references used. I only own the idea.**

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It was an idle, sizzling afternoon in the Castle That Never Was and Marluxia was relaxing in The Room of the Living, watching television in a comfortable recliner. This room was full during nighttime, since everyone would be watching movies, playing video games or reading books to unwind from all the missions they had accomplished.

But today was a Saturday and no missions were given to any of the members.

The air conditioner made the air breathable and crisp and Marluxia sighed, sinking into his chair as he turned up the volume of his television show, The View.

Roxas had walked in and the man with cherry hair didn't notice for he was too interested in his show. The blonde haired teen paused in his footsteps and paid attention to what was on the screen, making him scoff.

Marluxia whipped his head around and stared intently into the boys eyes, a little disturbed that he interrupted his show. "What?" He questioned bitterly. "The women on here have some valid arguments." He gestured his hand towards the television and continued to watch.

Roxas couldn't hold it in and he chuckled while holding his sides. Marluxia however seemed uncertain and perplexed.

And that's when he walked in.

"Hello," greeted Axel with a small wave and a smirk, stepping into the room through the doorway, not acknowledging Roxas giggling and what was on the television. "I see that you had to turn the air conditioner on because I happened to walk in here…" He took another step in, waiting for their responses with raised eyebrows and crossed arms. And that's when he noticed Roxas laughing. His arms fell to his sides. "What's so-" His eyes found the television screen and found Marluxia watching The View, acting very into their conversations and nodding his head in agreement whenever the women on the show spoke. He chuckled as well.

Just then shuffling was heard in the hallway and the two quieted down. It sounded like something was sliding across the wall along with a foot step.

_Shuffle. Stomp. Shuffle. Stomp._

The two watched the doorway as they waited for something to appear as the sound was getting louder.

_Shuffle. Stomp. Shuffle. Stomp._

A hand grabbed around the door frame as the face of Luxord peered around the corner, dragging his body with him. His eyes were puffy and red. His hair was complete chaos like he had just gotten electrocuted and his cloak was halfway unzipped. "Guys," He moaned in desperation as he laid himself onto the floor in exhaustion. Axel and Roxas rushed over while Marluxia continued to watch his show.

Luxord's face met the floor and he mumbled into it, though it was clear as to what he was saying. "It's Friday night," He started in a higher, whiny voice and sniveled his nose. "And I'm watching Who's Smarter Than a Fifth Grader, drinking Vodka." He lifted his face from the floor and looked straight ahead down the hall. "I got all the questions wrong!" He slammed his fist onto the floor and his red eyes began to water. "Where am I going in life?!"

Axel bit his cheeks, trying not to laugh. He leaned over towards Roxas. "I'm getting this on camera." He whispered. Pulling out his Smartphone, he began recording Luxord as he started wailing in self pity. "He thinks it's Friday." Axel chuckled.

Footsteps were heard from the hallway, quick ones at that as the figure of Xemnas stopped at the doorway and stared down at the mess that was Luxord, lying on the floor. "I see that you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself on camera." He spoke with a blank expression and then continued on walking.

"Why is turning the lights on a five step process?!" The drunken man shouted, raising a fist into the air and slamming it onto the ground in frustration. His earring from his left ear fell out and bounced across the floor.

"I'm sorry," Marluxia began as he sat up from his chair and turned the television off. "But it's 12:30 and I have to go take a crap in our neighbors garden." Axel and Roxas froze in place at what they heard. The pink haired man snatched a pile of magazines off from the coffee table. "I can't have theirs smelling better than mine. " He causally strolled out, whistling a melody as if this was a normal everyday thing for Nobody's to do.

Luxord then inhaled a large breath of air. "A,B,C,D,E,F,G!" He began to sing the alphabet loudly and Roxas jumped at the unexpected loudness. When he reached the end, he panted, out of breath. "So, Z does come after W…" He mused.

"Guys!" A voice shouted from down the hall. Everyone recognized it as Xigbar. Peeking out of the doorway, Roxas saw the man's figure, waving his arms around and running towards them. Axel was still recording Luxord. "Dudes!" Xigbar raced his way over and started panting. "You know how the bathroom has censored lights?" Roxas raised an eyebrow and nodded. "Well, I was in there for a long time because I ate a burrito earlier and you _REALLY_ don't want to go in there so the lights went out because they didn't sense any movement but then Xemnas' fat cat, Mr. Whiskers opens the door and walks in and-" The man panted from talking too fast.

"And?" Roxas repeated, bracing himself for what were to come out of this man's mouth.

"I thought his cat was Jesus!" Xigbar spread out his arms in excitement, smiling with his mouth agape, still breathing heavy, awaiting their reaction.

A moment of silence passed by and Luxord seemed to have passed out.

"Why is it that it's not even 1 o'clock yet and almost everybody is out of their minds?" Axel questioned. Roxas shrugged.

A dark corridor appeared and Xemnas stepped out. "Who was in the restroom for over an hour with the door locked?" There was a silence and an awkward feeling in the air as Xigbar slowly raised his hand. "Because of you, Number Two, I had to take my business to the litter box while my cat watched, horrified."

Axel's phone was at his side, still recording. He couldn't wait to upload his content to the internet.

Everyone fell silent, not sure how to respond to this sudden topic.

"I'm sorry?" Xigbar guessed, shrugging.

"You better be." The superior left through his dark corridor and nobody said a word.

"So," Axel began, tracing his foot on the floor pattern. He felt he needed to break the awkward silence. "Nice weather we're having?"

Roxas nodded along with Xigbar. "Yeah," Replied the man with the eye patch. "I heard it's supposed to get in the late 80's."

Axel nodded, faking to be interested. "Oh?" He looked away, trying to find something interesting to speak about. Looking out the window, he saw their neighbor's lawn. "The neighbors seem to be keeping up on their garden. Maybe Marluxia has some competi-"

"TAKE THAT!"

Axel was cut off by Marluxia who had entered the room with a wicked smirk on his face. His head held high as his hands were on his hips, prominently. "They'll never know it was me." He sat himself back down in his chair and turned on the television, now with a satisfied smile on his lips.

"OK then…" Xigbar commented.

A dark corridor swirled in the air as a Nobody leaped out. Axel whipped his camera to the scene unfolding before him. Someone, assumingly Demyx and leaped out with a cardboard soda box on his face, as if wearing it like a helmet.

"At dawn, we ride!" He shouted, jumping in the air. The corridor closed and he tried taking the box off. "It's kind of stuck…" He sloped his shoulders and sighed as he failed to get it off. Roxas chuckled. "But seriously guys have you seen my inflatable piece of paper anywhere? I put it right on this coffee table and-" He slapped his forehead, or rather the box. "Oh, that's right! I put it in the dryer!" He then walked out the doorway, singing a song.

Axel turned to Roxas.

"Today just keeps getting weirder and weirder."

"Yeah," His best friend replied, staring down at the carpet. "It's like we're the only sane ones around here."

There was a moment of silence before Axel realized something. "Where's Xigbar?"

His blonde haired friend shrugged.

"He's on the ceiling." Marluxia replied, not taking his eyes off the television. The two looked up to see Xigbar, crawling around backwards fast with his stomach facing them. He reminded the two of a spider and they were disturbed. Xigbar grunted as a white stringy substance shot out from his mouth. "It's almost 1:00; he always does this during this time." Marluxia brushed off what was happening and continued watching his program.

The man with the eye patch hissed and Axel and Roxas stared with their mouths agape. Fangs began to grow from Xigbar's mouth as he swung from his web he created.

Axel created two small dark corridors on each side of him and reached in them as if grabbing something. "Goodbye everyone." He began with a blank expression. He brought out his arms from the portals with leather suitcases in each hand. "I'll remember you all in therapy." And with that said he left through the doorway.

And from that point on Roxas wondered what he was doing in an Organization like this.


End file.
